It's been awhile since I have posted anything, but it's that time of year - Mamma Jamma time! I have been busy fundraising for my favorite cause. The ride was a week ago, and it was a fabulous day.
If you have read about my own breast cancer story, you might remember how much the Inaugural Mamma Jamma Ride in 2009 meant to me. I will be writing about this year's ride soon, but first I wanted to put up pictures from last year. I've got a lot of posts to catch up on for Project Pastry Queen, and Midweek Connections, amongst others. In the meantime, enjoy what the 2010 Mamma Jamma Ride had to offer. Every rider raised at least $500 to provide services and support for Breast Cancer patients, the ride is their reward!!
Morning dawns at Reunion Ranch. A great day awaits as the
2010 Mamma Jamma Ride is about to begin.
Riders begin to arrive. I love the tire tracks in the dew laden grass.
More bikers gathering, what a beautiful morning!
Leah, myself and Andrea
Thank you David C. Smith, Executive Ride Director,
for all of your hard work to make this ride happen!
My Hubbie, Mark (# 417), walking his bike over to the starting line
It's almost 8:30, rollout time.
Riders had a choice of 13, 27, 46, 70 & 100 miles.
READY . . .
SET . . .
GO!!!!
Those are the wonderful SAG vehicles lined up and ready to support the ride!
430 riders - raised over $400,000 to support Breast Cancer Patients.
Now it's time to enjoy the Texas Hill Country on this tree lined country road!
Heading into the mighty metropolis of Andice, TX.
The sign said "Ride Single File" - riding safely is a Good Thing!
It's hard to get a good picture of the beautiful scenery
while you are pedaling your bike.
MARK . . . WAIT UP!!!
About to go downhill, my favorite thing to do.
Better put the camera away :)
I love this old bridge, just outside of the mighty metropolis of Joppa, TX.
Lunch stop at Joppa, TX
Joppa was Hoppin'
This is my bike - ArVi
I named it after my Dad - ARt and my mom VIrginia.
That way I have them with me whenever I go out for a ride.
Bikes and their saddles patiently waiting for their owners
to mount up and head out on the road again.
Lunch was great - delicious wraps, fruit and OREOS!
The 46 milers on our Gethsemane Lutheran Team.
Fifteen more miles to go.
I can't believe how green the grass was in 2010 compared to this year.
It was so good to ride with teammates Susan & Jane.
Memories for a lifetime!
Finish line in sight . . .
46 miles - check
A great day spent with good friends - check
Fundraising Goal met - check
Thousands of Breast Cancer patients will have life saving services - PRICELESS
David -ride director, and husband Mark - HEROES!!
Cancer can sometimes give you a gift. These are 2 of my favorites!! We were the top 3 fundraisers for the 2010 Mamma Jamma Ride. It is our passion.
At the Awards Party
When all was said and done with, after fierce competition with my friends Jan and Kerry, I ended up with the Top Fundraiser-Rider Award for 2010. Our team also ended up with the Top Team Fundraiser Per Capita Award. My total for the year was $12,756. Our team ended up raising a little over $20,000. Much would be accomplished in our local Breast Cancer community because of the Mamma Jamma ride. I'm so very proud to be a part of it.
Finally, here is a video that was made of the ride last year, to promote the 2011 Mamma Jamma Ride:
Over 182,000 women
were diagnosed with Breast Cancer in 2008 and 182,000 stories that could
be told. This is just one of those stories.
This bandana has over 100 names written on its borders,
each one representing a different breast cancer story...
After my last infusion on May 5, 2009, the 3 weeks of recovery from chemo passed quickly and were NOT the worst like I was expecting. Learning about a charity bike ride in October that would raise money to support breast cancer patients gave me the mental edge I needed over any physical side effects.
May 14, 2009 was the Kick-Off Party for the Inaugural Mamma Jamma Bike Ride that would be held on October 10. The party was outdoors on a beautiful cool night in Austin, TX; I went with the purpose of learning more and to register for the ride. I talked with representatives for the ten non-profits that were the ride beneficiaries. I listened to the Ride Director - David C. Smith, and the Honorary Ride Chair - Kerry Tate, speak about what the ride would mean for patients and families dealing with this disease. Three things became evident:
1. I felt like a selfish cancer patient. I had been so self-absorbed in my own cancer treatment that I hadn't thought about what it was like for others:
Women in their 20's or 30's have young children who can't understand why mommy's hair is falling out.
Some face the disease alone and have no one to cook meals for them, or no transportation to treatment.
Others have no medical insurance and can't afford the care they need to save their lives ... just to name a few...
Compared to any one of these, my cancer treatment - though difficult - had been a breeze. I always had someone to mentor or help me every step of the way. What a blessing to have these people in my life, making my cancer treatment "manageable". It could have been so much worse like it is for many.
2. The Mamma Jamma was different kind of fundraiser - A Gala on a Bike, money raised by the ride would provide numerous services & support to patients and their families. The impact is immediate - improving the lives from those newly diagnosed, to those whose cancer has metastasized. It is a ride to let cancer patients know they are not alone. The 10 beneficiaries form a continuum of care for our community.
3. I needed to form a team and try to encourage as many friends as I could to join me. Signing up to do the ride myself would not be enough.Instead of just asking for donations from my biking friends, together our fundraising efforts could do so much more. I left the party that night feeling as if I had been given the biggest gift ever - the gift to "pay it forward".
By the end of May, the "Big Guns" chemo had ended, but the Herceptin infusions would continue once every 3 weeks for the remainder of the year. Fortunately the only side effect was an occasional runny nose AND I started noticing some stubble ... my hair was growing back!!!!
I was SO ready to get back on my bike. My first training ride was a little frustrating. A year prior I was able to ride a hilly 65 miles, but the hint of a small incline that day had me panting for breath. Mark and my friend Samantha rode with me and we did about 12 miles. At the end I was elated, but exhausted and I went home and took a long nap.
Samantha & I, she had voluntarily shaved her head
as a fundraiser for children with cancer.
She was an example of hope that my hair would come back.
I made the decision to ride 100 miles in October, I couldn't think of any better way to convince myself that I had looked Breast Cancer straight in the eye & kicked its butt than to ride my first Century Ride for Mamma Jamma. Two mornings a week Mark & I would ride before he went to work. My friend Jane would join me for long rides on Thursdays (take THAT Puny Thursdays!) and Mamma Jamma offered free training rides for us on the weekends. I regained my strength quickly and by September, I was averaging 150 miles each week.
RIDE DAY - OCTOBER 10, 2009
Fall weather in Texas can be hit or miss. The forecast on Ride Day, called for cool temperatures and early clouds/drizzle with clearing by the afternoon. I was pumped and it was a struggle to keep my emotions in check. Just before the start for the 100-milers, I found the Capital of Texas Team Survivor MJ team and posed for a pre-race photo with them:
Ride start for the Main Group
Samantha had joined my team along with 2 of her coworkers, Keith & Andy - they were doing the 100 mile route with Mark & I. About 50 riders were taking on this challenge and we got an hour head start as the rest of the riders cheered us on. The small numbers made it easier for us to ride together and enjoy the Hill Country of Texas. It was wonderful!!
One of the volunteer SAG vehicles that provided route support
90 minutes into the ride, Mark got a flat tire. Instead of waiting for mechanical help he changed it himself. This proved to be instrumental in finishing the ride because it took him less than 5 minutes and we were on our way again.
The lunch pit stop in Joppa, TX - the half-way point
There were pit stops about every 12-15 miles where we could stop for water and food. Each one had a party atmosphere, staffed by volunteers who were cheering us on. The lunch pit stop was especially fun; there was great music, carnival games to play, and delicious food.
We almost lingered there too long. As we were getting back on our bikes, a woman walked onto the road with a sign saying 100 milers needed to turn around and go back. Panic set in as I rode up to talk to her. She told me there was a cut-off time but since we were getting on our bikes she would let us go through. I told her 3 more in our group were in the bathroom and she said if they hurried she would also let them continue. I rode back to tell Samantha, and then Mark & I took off. If Mark had taken any longer to change his flat tire, we might not have been so lucky. My mind was racing: I couldn't believe it ... I had trained so hard ... I told my donors I was riding 100 miles ... I couldn't let them down.
The weather matched my mood. Instead of clearing, it was getting colder and drearier. The woman in the road said there were cut-off times at all the remaining pit stops. Instead of waiting for the others, we picked up our pace. Mark had not trained as much as I and was getting tired. He finally told me to go on without him. We had reached the hilliest part of the course and I was worried about him so I waited at the next pit stop. I didn't have to wait long but once again he told me to go on - he would wait for the others. I felt better knowing he would have someone to ride with.
My bike - "ArVi"
As much as I loved riding with my husband and my friends, I realized I needed this time alone to reflect on events from the past year. But I wasn't really alone - I could feel the presence of my mom and dad with each pedal stroke. My mom, Virginia, passed away in 1999; my dad Art, passed away in April during my chemo treatments. I decided to name my bike after them - ArVi so I have them with me whenever I ride.
Beautiful Scenery
One of the many signs along the route, reminding us why we ride
With no other riders around, I was able to let all the emotions from the previous year come pouring out. I thought about the fears I had buried deep inside; fears of not being there for my daughters' weddings, not being there for grandchildren, not growing old with the love of my life - and the tears finally came, real tears. Up until now, most of the tears had been silent as I tried to stay strong for family and friends.
Oops, then came a hill, time to focus. More miles went by and I remembered each milestone that had come and gone the past year; the diagnosis, doctor appointments, the surgeries ... and ... oh, here was another hill to climb. I thought of the people I had met because of my cancer, fellow survivors, skilled physicians and the kind, gentle nurses in the infusion room. More tears came, and more hills. With each hill, I remembered the names I had written on the blue bandana that I carried on my bike. I thought of all the strength each one had showed through their treatments, and for some through their death. Their strength became my strength.
The feelings culminated with a one-sided conversation I had with my parents. I remember tearfully saying out loud, "Mom & Dad, I hope I've made you proud." (Isn't that what we all want?) I wasn't sure I had done enough with my life up until then. This cancer was a wake up call and by gosh I was going to step out of my complacency and do something with my life that WOULD make them proud.
I was cold & I was tired and there was another really long and steep hill ahead. Suddenly it dawned on me, you know what ... if I could make it through chemotherapy, I could make it up that hill. I realized at that moment that cancer had made me a stronger woman, and I was grateful. Then I noticed a sign that said "One mile to the next pit stop". Funny what that sign did for me, I wasn't tired any more!
A short rest refreshed me and I got a surprise call from my BFF, Glenda. She had joined my team and was doing the 46 mile route. "Where are you?", she said. It turned out she had left that same pit stop a few minutes earlier. It felt like forever, but I finally caught up with her. As we rode I learned she had been talked into doing the 70 mile route, even though she had not been riding much. Before the ride, I was sad that our start times were different and I wouldn't get to ride with her. Another blessing just came my way.
I called Mark and learned he and the others were about 10 minutes behind me. This was going to work into my plan. I had been disappointed to find out the actual mileage for the ride was 98.2 miles. How could I "legally" say I had ridden my first Century ride? I was familiar with the area so instead of making a right turn I went straight and rode an extra mile out and back. Shortly after I got back to the turn, Mark, Samantha, Keith & Andy came riding up. We had 5 more miles to go.
Finish Line Cheerleaders
WE DID IT!!! 100 Miles!!!
The finish line soon came into sight. Once again I could not hold back the tears. As we crossed the finish line I could see not only my team members lined up to greet us, but also our middle daughter Sarah. The adrenaline in my body made me want to keep riding further, but it was time to stop and enjoy the moment. I'll let the pictures do the talking because words are inadequate:
Most of my 2009 Mamma Jamma Team. Instead of the $500 check I was going to write if I rode by myself, we raised over$25,000!!
My ride bandana also went 100 miles.
Written on it were the names of the breast cancer
men and women I was riding in honor of, and in memory of.
Getting a hug from David, the Ride Director and Kerry, the Honorary Ride Chair
Parade of the SAG wagons, the last rider was back safely.
My friends Deb Carroll, Alice Wilson and Sandy Kugelman
At the end of the day, there was time for reflection on loved ones lost and the seriousness of this disease. There is still so much more to be done.
Together our team of 20 raised just over $25,000. WOW! Originally I had planned to just write a check for my $500 fundraising obligation. This was enough to pay for an entire year of cancer treatment for one individual with $11,000 left over to spend on some many other things like mammograms, biopsies, bloodwork and so much more.
If you have a diagnosis of Breast Cancer, Austin, TX is a good place to be. There are groups here to help you if you need it. I have learned that many other communities are not so fortunate. To quote Martin Luther King, Jr., "I Have a Dream." My hope is that someone out there will read a post about one of the local non-profits here in Austin and decide to start a similar one in their area. My BIG DREAM, is that every state will have their own Mamma Jamma Ride.
I don't know how my story will end, whether the cancer will ever return or not, but for now it doesn't end here. I am enjoying a life filled with wonderful family and dear friends. These loved ones are what life is all about, and I am so blessed. (Update, almost 16 years and counting...)
Other members of the Breast Cancer Club that have come into my life are also part of my story. These men and women continue to inspire me and I want to share their stories with you in future posts. I hope you come back to read them, and ... thanks for reading my story.
As a way to pay it forward for those who have breast cancer right now but don't know it, please help me raise
much needed funds for cancer services. You can visit my donation page
here: http://fundraisers.mammajammaride.org/alicemueller2016
Oh, one more thing, here is the Mamma Jamma kickoff party video that first inspired me:
Over 182,000 women were diagnosed with Breast Cancer in 2008 and over 182,000 stories could be told. This is just one of those stories.
After passing my Chemo 101 class, I got my first infusion on January 20, 2009. Highlights of the day:
My BFF Glenda drove me and stayed through the morning.
The nurses and technicians in the infusion room were wonderful.
I did not have an allergic reaction to the poison drugs of choice.
Husband Mark brought me my favorite lunch.
The surprise of the day came that afternoon when I awoke from a nap to hear a nurse say, "Alice? She's right over here". I looked up and saw a stranger, but when she said "Hi", I recognized my friend Dolise. We had only previously talked by phone - she was a former patient of Dr. Spiegel's and had become my mentor when I was deciding upon the DIEP Reconstruction. She had brought me a care package filled with goodies - I couldn't believe it. Shortly after she left, it happened again. This time it was Laura, another Dr. Spiegel phone/mentor friend & angel - she too had brought a care package! (I learned that's the kind of thing cancer sisters do for one another.) How wonderful to finally meet them in person. The day that I had been dreading had been turned upside down. Before I knew it, my friend Kay arrived to drive me home and I left the infusion room that day feeling like a queen, and very blessed.
Me, Dolise & Laura
I treated them to brunch a week after my first chemo!
After I found the cyst on October 1st, I was not allowed to exercise.
First there was the fear the cyst would rupture,
Second there was 6 weeks of recovery after the hysterectomy/lumpectomy
Third, 6 more weeks of recovery after the mastectomy/reconstruction.
Before Christmas, January 21st was my "Exercise Release" date from Dr. Spiegel and I had been looking forward to a run. With the change in my treatment plan, I was not about to let getting chemo the day before stand in my way. Karen, my friend and running coach, told me about a new running class - it started the 21st - perfect. I knew about the positive effects of exercise for those going through chemo. plus I looked at this as the first step in regaining control of my life. I took it easy, doing some of the warm-up and then managed 1-1/2 SLOW miles around the track. It felt free and liberating!
The second day after each treatment was always the worst, I called it Puny Thursday. Thank goodness for the advancements made in nausea medication however, because I never had to hug the toilet. I just had no appetite and a queasy feeling that lasted for 36 - 48 hours. The first Friday afternoon I felt good enough to go on a 12 mile bike ride. For the rest of the 2 1/2 weeks of recovery, things went back to normal as I waited for treatment #2.
This was taken on Puny Thursday #4.
My cats, Benjamin(striped) and Franklin(black) would not leave my side.
I believe they could sense something was different on those days.
I stayed in bed a lot on Puny Thursdays.
It didn't take long to settle into a routine. My treatments consisted of:
At the end of 18 weeks, a triple dose of Herceptin every third week for the rest of the year
The side effects for Herceptin, my miracle drug, were minimal. Mostly I felt as if I was coming down with a cold. It is a monoclonal antibody that targets only the cancer cells, unlike standard chemo which targets all fast growing cells. So after 18 weeks when I only had infusions of Herceptin, my hair started growing back. There is a small chance for cardiotoxicity and I had to have a MUGA scan every 3 months to monitor my heart.
I've been blessed with a full head of hair so the thinning wasn't too noticeable until after TCH treatment #2. By week #4, what was left of it (not much) needed to go and I had already arranged for James, a very good friend to come by the house to do the shaving honors. Mark wanted to join me in solidarity but I said no. I could avoid a mirror if I wanted to, but every time I looked at his bald head it would be a reminder I did not need.
Thanks James!
Wig shopping and trying to look happy
James thought I would have a good cry after he left, but I didn't. Maybe it was because my pity party over the hair loss had already come and gone. I think the Pollyanna in me was returning because I kept reminding myself of all the money I was going to save on haircuts and shampoo. Also, showering & getting ready in the morning was so much faster!!
Treatments #2 and #3 came and went and the nausea was just slightly worse. The fatigue however, lingered longer each time. As the weeks went by, a horrible taste developed in my mouth. I would have to rinse with a salt solution before I ate. I'm blessed with a husband who loves to cook. Mark did his best to make things that were healthy and delicious. I felt bad when he worked all day, came home and cooked dinner, and then I had no appetite or nothing tasted right. HE WAS MY ROCK!! (love you honey!!)
Shortly after my fourth treatment on the last day of March, I got a call from my brother in Houston. Our 88 year old Dad had a stroke and he could no longer swallow. We made the decision to call in hospice. At the end of February I had gone there to help move him into a nursing home. His Parkinson's had progressed to the point where his caregiver could no longer take care of him at his home of 46 years. He passed away a few days later after the family was able to say goodbye. Dad knew about my cancer, but I never told him about the chemotherapy. I didn't want him to worry. I still miss his laugh and his twinkling eyes. He was my Hero.
One of the last pictures I took of my Dad, March 2009
My fifth treatment was 10 days later. The stress of losing my father combined with a bad sinus infection made this one the worst so far. There was no gradual increase in the symptoms, it was like they tripled. The reason they give you the BIG drugs once every 3 weeks is to give your body time to recover. Well, #5 took the full 3 weeks.
May 5th was the sixth and last treatment and I was dreading it. I woke up that morning thinking, "Okay, let's just get this over with." The fifth one had been awful and I was expecting this one to be worse. I even asked Dr. Kampe if he could just put me in an induced coma for the next 3 weeks. Nope, not possible! I longed for it to all be over, for life to get back to normal. Yet, it was hard to remember what normal felt like. In the infusion room, the routine began again as the nurse accessed my port for the IV. The chemicals started dripping into my veins. I thought of the Danskin Triathlon coming up in a month and had to chuckle. I remembered how "excited" I was the previous fall to become a survivor so that I could start right after the Elite Athletes this year! Back in January I had high hopes: My plan was to train for my 4th Danskin while going through Chemo. It turned out to be wishful thinking.
To pass the time, I got out my laptop to check my email. Going through my inbox I noticed one with "Mamma Jamma Ride" as the subject from Team Survivor. As I started reading it, the dread I felt when I woke up that morning was quickly being replaced with hope:
There was going to be a new bike ride in town (hmm, I love to bike!)
The Texas Mamma Jamma Ride (clever name, I like it!)
Team Survivor was one of the beneficiaries (great, they could grow and reach more women!)
Breast Cancer Resource Center is one of 9 other beneficiaries (oh my gosh, this is a way I can Pay it Forward to thank them for the support they have given me!!)
The ride date was October 10th!! (I can do this! I thought it might be next month but it's not. I CAN DO THIS!! I'll have time to get back in shape!!)
Oh, there's a website already, I wonder what the ride distances are? (13, 27, 45 - doable, 70 - hmmm, 100 - wow, could I??)
I was so EXCITED!! I told every nurse that checked on me all about it. I called Mark to tell him to put it on his calendar. All of a sudden, I wasn't thinking about the 3 weeks of side effects that lay ahead, I was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I had a new goal to look forward to. My mood brightened and I was feeling better. Little did I know I then, but I had found a new passion for my life. Oh, and by the way, treatment #6 was easy - compared to #5 that is!! My new frame mind made all the difference...
As a way to pay it forward for those who have breast cancer right now but don't know it, please help me raise
much needed funds for cancer services. You can visit my donation page
here: http://fundraisers.mammajammaride.org/alicemueller2016
... Part V continuedhere"The Light at the End of the Tunnel"
